Monday Mourning: Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, dear readers, I am here!
(It's Monday on River Road, so Miss Comportment is checking in.)
Friends, enemies, children of the world … our beloved hamlet is in mourning.
I wanted to speak to you - for you to hear the lament in my voice - but I simply could not compose myself long enough to get behind the all-powerful, all-engaging microphone …
No, your faithful servant must address you in written form today!
Imagine, just imagine, my shock when I heard the news of the dearly departed William McNamara. I hear he was young … scuttle says new in town, even, though I have yet to confirm. Whatever souls are lost along our rich river beds … whether new or native, old or young … we must stop and give thanks for their service.
As for our dear, dear Mrs. McMurtry, taking shelter in the very hotel her father built, the Golden Pillar … mere yards from the sacred ground on which she was raised, and where she very nearly perished just a few nights ago!
I would have thought she’d be wandering the streets in black by now, but no, dear reader … sources on the tip line (SEE BELOW!) say our favorite Lady-Who-Lunches is not exactly kicking back, as her $78 bar tab (found in the Riverside parking lot just last night) would attest.
But I digress …. after all, it’s Monday on River Road, and we have developments …
Spotted at the Riverside, in a very dark booth to the left of the door, behind the pool table … Elyse and that new Carson gentleman, sipping white wines and looking thick as thieves. I mean, where to begin on this one? Elyse, may I just say it’s about time you got back into circulation and moved on from that Bernie person … such a mess, that man. This one looks young and, what shall I say, well put-together? Hang on to that one, darling Daughter of the Chickotee! (Oh to be a fly on that wall …)
Sighted knocking on doors up and down River Road, one Sheriff Paul. One of my little birdies chirped through the phone lines that our favorite lawman was asking her how well she knew our dear Mr. Newspaperman (that’s Bernie for all y’all in the dark). Much as I can’t stand the man, I’d hate to think he was part of all this murder trouble. I mean, near as I can tell, he’s only someone trying to make a living, even if his living is being nosy … thank GOD I’m not nosy, right, dear readers??
That annoying TV girl came around, knocking on my door last night … says she’s investigating “a new lead” on the rock dude’s unceremonious demise.
Oh my goodness, well … your girl is here for you, dear readers! Gone are the days of laying by the lazy Chickotee, watching the water flow, pretending to fish from its banks. No, things are far more suspicious along the banks these days … and they just keep getting stranger and stranger …
With love and sympathy to those gone before us, walk through life lightly and carry your cell phone. These days, it take a village! If you’ve got a tip, call me at (607) 383-0456 … and I just may use it!